How 3 Children Changed my Life

Everything negative — pressure, challenges — is all an opportunity for me to rise

I was a very soft-spoken and distant child. I did not like to socialize but instead preferred to do things alone, not because I was necessarily afraid of talking to other children but more so because I felt that I was on a different wavelength from many of my peers. Many of my lunchtimes as a child were spent either in the library, where I’d read books ranging from legal thrillers by John Grisham, to a variety of non-fiction pieces, namely Walter Isaacson’s biography of Steve Jobs, a book which had a profound impact on my childhood and early adolescent years. Steve Jobs was one of many role models growing up, his passion-driven and idealistic nature are characteristics that have been ingrained into my psyche.

psyche /ˈsʌɪki/ noun

the human soul, mind, or spirit

A typical lunchtime for me usually began at 12:15. As the lunch bell went I would venture along a cobblestone walkway between kids playing hopscotch to my left and handball on my right. At the end of the walkway, I would take a left turn up the stairs and then continue on walking until I’d find myself in the most peaceful part of the school, the specialist block. This is where our science, woodworking, and sewing classes would take place. I would sit against the science building, my back arched gently against the door, my eyes protected from the sun by an enormous Pohutukawa tree; its bright red colour illuminating on the cover of my book. I would then immerse myself in the life of Steve Jobs whilst chowing down on sweet chilli-flavoured cassava chips from the tuck-shop.

Overall I was content with my daily routine, content with my eccentric and calm nature but at the same time I felt that something was lacking. I was longing for popularity, I wanted to be the coolest, strongest, and most popular kid in school. Playing sports at the time seemed like the easiest way to achieve all of those things. I knew that engaging in a sport would improve my physique, I knew that it would increase my self-confidence, and best of all I knew that if I was good enough it could very well lead to massive gains in my popularity.

To my benefit, it was also during this time that our family moved from Wellington to Auckland, and as someone who got bullied quite severely during my time in Wellington, I looked at this as a prime opportunity to reinvent myself as a person. Nabeel’s dream of being able to turn a new leaf and essentially restart his life became a reality. My goal now was finding a sport that I’d be interested in and enjoy, and much to my surprise this turned out being harder than expected.

It was a radiant Thursday afternoon. I still remember the intensity of the sun beaming onto my forearms, consequently resulting in sweat that would roll down my bicep, moving down my ulna ultimately spreading to my fingertips, culminating in progressive discomfort. As lunch time approached I was not too sure what to do. I’d already eaten all of my lunch, I didn’t feel like reading, nor did I want to talk to anyone, and so I decided that I would have a casual stroll around the school block. Our intermediate was joined to a primary school, with the intermediate being situated at the top of a steep hill and the primary school at the bottom. As the lunch bell sounded I walked down the set of concrete stairs that open out into the main school field, with the playground positioned to my right and the basketball courts on my left. The basketball courts caught my attention in particular as I saw three kids getting into an intense match. I couldn’t identify the moves that they were performing but what stood out to me was the passion and vigor that the kids were playing with. It was on this day that I found the sport that I’d soon grow to love.

I approached the kids and asked them if it was possible to join their game, they were rather friendly and agreed, leading to us starting a new game of 2v2 half-court basketball. At this point I hadn’t dribbled, shot or even held a proper basketball before, everything felt unnatural. Using your hands to bounce a ball whilst moving and then being able to throw that very same ball into a tiny basket was unimaginable to me. I started the game by just passing and observing how they played, their movements seemed so fluid, every shot they took appeared to be hardwired in their muscle memory. I remember we lost that game, I missed every shot I took, my passes were awful, I traveled on nearly every possession, and every dribble taken was in actuality an illegal carry. I sucked at basketball, but there was an indescribable pull that I had towards the game, I wanted to get better, and I wanted to be the best.

I promised to myself that I’d never give up, Kobe Bryant phrased it nicely by saying that:

“The moment you give up is the moment you let someone else win.”

And I was sure not letting anyone else win.

If there was a single aspect of basketball that attracted me towards the sport it was shooting. A jump shot is unique as regardless of your athleticism, strength or size, a player with good shooting ability will always be useful on a basketball team. In the following days and weeks after my first game of basketball I’d go to the basketball courts alone after school aiming to refine my shooting. Initially, my goal was to make 30 free throws each day.

A successful shot can be broken down to being dependent on 5 key mechanisms; correct foot placement, ball grip, a 90 degree angled shooting arm, a fluid single motioned release, and finally your follow-through. Correct foot placement makes it easy to have your shoulder and arm aligned with the basket, you don’t want your feet to be pointing directly at the basket; but you wouldn’t want them offset at such a large angle. You would then make sure to have your knees slightly bent as all power from the shot stems from your legs, your arms are merely the release point. When gripping the ball, I tried to have my fingertips on the long seams of the ball leaving a small space between the ball and the middle of my palm. As you are getting ready to let go of your shot, the force generated by your legs rapidly moves up your body to your arms. Your main shooting arm is what directs the ball into the basket, in my case since I was right handed my right hand was my shooting arm and my left arm purely served as a stabiliser. Your main shooting arm should have your forearm angled 90 degrees to your shoulder which enables fluid release of the ball, once the ball leaves your fingertips you would then push your fingers down in one motion, known as the follow-through, this adds spin to the ball and gives it a higher chance of going in.

As I was primarily a shooter it was only natural that the first NBA player I looked up to was Kobe Bryant. As a basketball player Kobe had all aspects of the game down, his footwork was impeccable and unmatched, only second to Michael Jordan. This allowed him to have an outside, midrange and effective post game. He could shoot from all areas of the court using a variety of different moves depending on how the defense would play him. Kobe could shoot off the dribble, he could stop on a dime and pull up from midrange, his fadeaways were unguardable. I would try to emulate Kobe but unfortunately I was too short, weak and unathletic to really make effective use of his vast array of moves.

Around 2013 a certain NBA player named Stephen Curry started making waves around the league. I still remember my friend telling me about the “splash bros” and how the Spurs had no chance against the backcourt in Golden State during the 2nd round of the 2013 NBA playoffs. Steph Curry swiftly caught my attention and I soon began to watch his highlights every day after school, watching nearly every highlight video of him available on the NBA Youtube channel. He slowly became my favourite basketball player of all time. He had an immediate and automatic release, incomparable to any player I’ve ever seen. Every shot he took looked so effortless. His play always seemed reckless at times, as if he was teetering near the edge of losing his handle of the ball, but time and time again he would find ways to make crazy unrealistic shots. Many of the NBA’s greatest shooters namely Reggie Miller and Ray Allen were only effective in spot up situations, they couldn’t create their own shots off the dribble. Steph Curry was in essence a walking bucket as he was able to score from everywhere at a high clip. Although Kobe could shoot all the same shots Steph shot, Steph was doing it at a far greater efficiency. Steph Curry revolutionized the game that we know and love in the present day and was a key factor in ushering the 3 point revolution and eventually the modern age of basketball.

As years passed I started playing basketball less frequently. I decided that it would be best for me to focus on academia as realistically I had no shot of playing at any level higher than high school basketball. I was limited by my height and lack of athletic ability. there was a chance that if I worked hard enough I might be able to play at a higher level but the opportunity cost was too high and I’d already experienced playing competitive basketball in high school. I made friends, and learned valuable skills such as comradery, perseverance, and discipline. My goal as a young 12-year-old of improving my physique, self-confidence, and gaining popularity were all achieved. Basketball and the other associated activities that it led to me being involved in, such as going to the gym, and learning about healthy eating habits had molded me into an improved version of myself.

Although my days of playing basketball daily have worn off, the life lessons that the game and my two favorite players, Steph Curry and Kobe Bryant taught me have continued to live on with me till this day. There is a philosophy that Kobe Bryant lives by known as Mamba Mentality.

“Mamba Mentality is a constant quest to find answers. It’s that infinite curiosity to want to be better, to figure things out. Mamba mentality is you’re going, you’re competing, you’re not worried about the end result.

A mamba is relentless whether that’s on the basketball court or in life. Knowing that to achieve success you have to give everything 100% of what you got, you can never give up, you can’t be satisfied or make excuses for yourself until you have exhausted all options and tried your very best. Steph Curry for me was Mamba mentality personified. I could relate to Steph, unlike Kobe, Steph lacked some of the physical gifts that Kobe had, he was always overlooked by his peers, he had to carry ‘a chip on his shoulder’. As a child scouts doubted Curry’s ability due to his size, he never got a scholarship to any 5 star colleges. When he was in Davidson lighting up the NCAA, scouts and analysts doubted him by saying that he would be too small to compete in the NBA. When he was riddled with injuries in his first few years, analysts said that Curry was too injury prone and frail to lead a team. When the Warriors made the 2015 NBA finals analysts stated that “jump shooting teams don't win championships”. Even today with all that he has achieved he still has doubters of his greatness. But all Steph does is continue on improving, that's all we can do as human beings. it’s that relentless pursuit of self-perfection that separates the 1% from the rest of society.

I’m currently in my first year of Health Sciences at the University of Auckland with the aim of getting into medicine at the end of the year. Initially semester one was going well and I could see myself getting in, but life happened, I faced adversity and got sucker-punched, life was not going to how I’d anticipated it to go. Did I deserve it? Maybe.

April to June of this year were the lowest points in my life, there were many days where I did not want to get out of bed, eating food, social interaction, and living in general felt so hard, I wanted to give up. I wanted to close my eyes and erase this bad dream that I was currently living in, I wanted to run away. It was about 2 weeks ago when I found an article talking about Steph Curry’s biggest regret as an NBA player through Reddit. Curry stated that his behind the back pass in game 7 of the 2016 NBA finals was his biggest mistake that he ever made, it was careless, overconfident and in some ways very immature.

That one move was the start of the cascade of events that would lead to a breakdown in the Warriors offense eventually causing them to lose the game, the series, and their chance at a championship. The amount of hate that he got for a single move was insurmountable for the average person to overcome. A move that was made in fractions of a second. Most people wouldn’t have been able to come back from such a failure. Curry managed to come back and win the Larry O’Brien Championship Trophy twice in 2017 and 2018

The ability to drown out all the outside noise and focus on improvement takes enormous willpower and inner strength, I realized that for me the only way out was to move forward. If I am focused on my personal development and growth there is light at the end of the tunnel.

If I keep on moving forward I may get knocked down but I’ll never get knocked out.

Was I in this situation due to my own careless nature and lack of maturity? Possibly. But replaying moments of failure without any aim of improvement is self-destructive and ultimately will only result in depression and self-pity. I needed to actually live with Mamba Mentality. I had to get out of bed and do what needs to be done. Living, Doing, Happiness, these are all choices that we actively make for ourselves every day we wake up.

Champions are not merely defined by their successes, a true champion is defined by their ability to be resilient and never give up.

Basketball will always be more than just a game to me. This is a sport that has allowed me to form lifelong friendships, it has helped me develop discipline and good work ethic. Basketball has played a large part in my understanding that success is not made in a day, success is the culmination of countless hours of hard work and failure that occurs behind closed doors. As spectators to the lives of others we only witness their highlights, we only see the end product of a person’s work. In our modern age this has been exemplified by social media which in my opinion is what contributes a large part to our current mental health epidemic. If we only see success and not the blood, sweat and tears that were shed to achieve such success we sometimes start to question our own self-worth. I’ve gradually understood not to compare myself to anyone.

I’m definitely not Kobe Bryant, Steph Curry, or the smartest medical student. I might not be the most popular individual, I might not be the strongest, or the most attractive, but I’m Nabeel. I’m currently living a life that is unique only to myself, the experiences and relationships that I form are mine only, and if I work to the best of my ability and continually strive for my own inner perfection then what more can I expect from myself?